that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
