i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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