He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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