Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
