Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize