i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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