He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
