He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So much rum. So many feels.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
