There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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