I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
