i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
