I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
