I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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