My pussy is not your playground.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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