Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
