white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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