I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
