ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Green mimosas i think yes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
