I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize