If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
