i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
