I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
