Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
