I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
