Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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