Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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