i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
