He kissed a someone with a penis
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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