I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
