just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
