I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
