just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
