Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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