Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize