Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The Olympian is in my bed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
