So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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