Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
