the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
