dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
