Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
