I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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