he puts the penis in happiness.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
