We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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