God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
