At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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