This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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