How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
