I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Congratulations! We have a period
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
