Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
