hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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