Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Someone came in the potted fern
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
