Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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