I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize