My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
