Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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  (412): I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here. http://tfl.nu/0gmn
  Replies (8) Good night (2513) Bad night (974)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

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  (937): I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something. http://tfl.nu/k1os
  Replies (22) Good night (612) Bad night (5224)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.

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  (732): The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party. http://tfl.nu/2ynx
  Replies (7) Good night (4688) Bad night (716)
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  (951): View more from California

  So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

  (909): View more from California

  dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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  (951): So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito. (909): dude... how have they not drug tested you yet? http://tfl.nu/fx38
  Replies (43) Good night (6994) Bad night (1033)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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  (508): I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter http://tfl.nu/gfmg
  Replies (10) Good night (4254) Bad night (1180)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

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  (610): advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back http://tfl.nu/339g
  Replies (13) Good night (3922) Bad night (1300)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am both scared and jealous.

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  (610): Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption. (201): I am both scared and jealous. http://tfl.nu/hrb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2995) Bad night (959)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...

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  (325): She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe... http://tfl.nu/oipp
  Replies (13) Good night (1132) Bad night (665)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.

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  (817): I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore. http://tfl.nu/onr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (468)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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  (954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv
  Replies (9) Good night (890) Bad night (509)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple

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  (320): No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple http://tfl.nu/sc0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1765) Bad night (519)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.

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  (480): We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us. http://tfl.nu/1i5v
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (237)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.

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  (207): She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head. http://tfl.nu/qg4m
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (214)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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  (502): I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong. http://tfl.nu/d1lf
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (225)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.

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  (773): I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out. http://tfl.nu/obyo
  Replies (4) Good night (198) Bad night (343)

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