Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours

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  (414): I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours http://tfl.nu/ud9t
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail

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  (864): I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail http://tfl.nu/plfb
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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  (410): She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on. http://tfl.nu/tb1p
  Replies (21) Good night (684) Bad night (5142)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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  (484): its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed. http://tfl.nu/kf6i
  Replies (22) Good night (6365) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

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  (850): Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it... http://tfl.nu/c9zy
  Replies (15) Good night (749) Bad night (4122) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.

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  (763): He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening. http://tfl.nu/7ub3
  Replies (11) Good night (1157) Bad night (5692) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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  (443): I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly http://tfl.nu/9fzw
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.

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  (201): I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday. http://tfl.nu/fib9
  Replies (49) Good night (5255) Bad night (1251) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

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  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (1083) Bad night (2816) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt

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  (402): Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt http://tfl.nu/efn4
  Replies (7) Good night (2096) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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  (614): 2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever. http://tfl.nu/992h
  Replies (15) Good night (2560) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.

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  (503): Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer. http://tfl.nu/ruer
  Replies (5) Good night (1274) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (353): View more from

  The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend

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  (353): The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend http://tfl.nu/0v3z
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (457)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.

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  (205): I can HEAR him staring at your boobs. http://tfl.nu/pry3
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check

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  (936): Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check http://tfl.nu/ivap
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt

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