You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there