I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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