I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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