Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found a bag of teeth...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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