what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
worst night to have a conscience
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber