Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

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  (207): There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever. http://tfl.nu/jepg
  Replies (8) Good night (2995) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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  (336): Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll http://tfl.nu/6m63
  Replies (27) Good night (5526) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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  (404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af
  Replies (16) Good night (2897) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.

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  (717): i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now. http://tfl.nu/sepd
  Replies (86) Good night (5051) Bad night (2048) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.

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  (813): I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night. http://tfl.nu/ctdw
  Replies (15) Good night (793) Bad night (8043) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4355) Bad night (660)
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  (916): View more from California

  He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants

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  (916): He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants http://tfl.nu/xfxv
  Replies (46) Good night (13112) Bad night (1949) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.

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  (608): The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well. http://tfl.nu/1rx6
  Replies (8) Good night (5586) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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  (901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal
  Replies (2) Good night (2978) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2753) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?

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  (419): He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that? http://tfl.nu/13e2
  Replies (11) Good night (456) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now

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  (917): idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now http://tfl.nu/ruxc
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.

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  (816): I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap. http://tfl.nu/otej
  Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls

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  (860): You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls http://tfl.nu/pmrc
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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  (803): I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score! http://tfl.nu/zwep
  Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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