okay pat passed out under dana's car
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?