he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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