Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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