...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
