Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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