This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
