Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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