Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize