This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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