Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
