I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
